The use of high-energy rays to damage cancer cells, stopping them from growing and dividing. Like surgery, radiation therapy is a local treatment that affects cancer cells only in the treated area.
Radiation can come from a machine (external radiation or from an a small container of radioactive material implanted directly into or near the tumor (internal radiation). Some patients receive both kinds of radiation therapy. External radiation therapy is usually given on an outpatient basis in a hospital or clinic, five days a week for several weeks. Patients are not radioactive during or after the treatment. For internal radiation therapy, the patient stays in the hospital for a few days. The implant may be temporary or permanent. Because the level of radiation is highest during the hospital stay, patients may not be able to have visitors, or may have visitors only for a short time. Once an implant is removed, there is no radioactivity in the body. The amount of radiation in a permanent implant goes down to a safe level before the patient leaves the hospital.
Side effects of radiation therapy depend on the treatment dose and the part of the body that is treated. The most common side effects are tiredness, skin reactions (such as a rash or redness) in the treated area, and loss of appetite. Radiation therapy can cause inflammation of tissues and organs in and around the body site radiated. Radiation therapy can also cause a decrease in the number of white blood cells. Although the side effects of radiation therapy can be unpleasant, they can usually be treated or controlled. It also helps to know that, in most cases, they are not permanent.
Do you want to know what it means to me? More fucking shit that my family has to go through, THAT'S what it means. I know that when I talk about this I act like I'M the one that has to do this right? It affects me that much and I love my FIL that much.
I work part time. I LOVE my patients and I love WHAT I do and I don't want to stop, but my family comes 1st and right now, without even knowing how radiation will affect my FIL, I want to quit so that they don't have the added stress of having to watch Dominic between going to radiation therapy EVERY FUCKING DAY AND chemo as well. My FIL has been going to the gym to walk on the treadmill and talk to his friends, he drives everywhere and still has an appetite, I know he's one of the lucky ones. Chemo should scare me, but for some reason the thought of radiation EVERY SINGLE day scares me more & I don't know why. When all of this happened with the diagnosis, I was ready to quit my job. It was my in laws that said to me, "We need him Ang, he's our break from all of this bullshit." When my FIL was at his worst with the leg and back pains and Vicoden wasn't even numbing the pain you know what he said to me? "I don't take pain meds when you bring Dominic." Fairly annoyed I say, "Ummmm why?? That's what the meds are for dad!!" He says, "I feel bad when I take it and he's here. It makes me sleepy and then I can't play with him." I held back the tears and cried all the way to work. The man has cancer and is in excrutiating pain and denies himself pain meds so that he can play with his grandson.
During dinner tonight Matt talked about the radiation dr visit and starts explaining the what's and how's and I couldn't eat anymore, I literally got nauseous and the vision of my FIL laying there with nurses marking him up for the radiation treatments. His options are #1-to go the "aggresive" route and pardon the phrase, but "bang it out" in a week. Go all out M-F for a week with the max amount of radiation. #2-go the "less aggressive" route and do it 4-5 weeks, still on a daily basis...PLUS lower doses of chemo. I believe he is going with option #2. Either way he's getting blasted and I'm frustrated for my husband and my in laws. Here I am feeling all these emotions, who the hell knows what they are feeling. I just don't like the thought of them going through all of this AND having Dominic all afternoon. But Matt reminded me that we need to let THEM decide that because like they said, "We need Dominic...." I was at the sink when Matt reminded me of this and proceeded to sob.
Earlier today on FB I posted that I NOW understand why people become alcoholics. The weekend of the official diagnosis, we went to dinner and I had a VERY STRONG margarita and I was numb to the world. In my head it was alllllllll good, everything will be fine! I get it now. I get why people drink to forget the pain, to numb it away. Am I a fall down drunk because of this... absolutely NOT.... I'm a fun drunk, BUT I can see how people can choose that path to drown it out of their lives.....
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