Scapegoats

Scapegoat; noun. 

Definition: one that bears the blame for others.

When someone's register is short $2.48 at closing time, who does the manager blame?  The teenager who worked that register.  When someone double books the doctor you work for, who does the doctor blame?  The receptionist.  When you show up late to work and your boss reams you out, what do you blame?  Your alarm clock. Everyone needs a scapegoat don't they...someone to blame.  No one wants the responsibility of taking the blame, no one wants to be at fault, no one wants to be the "whipping boy", the "fall guy", or the "red-headed step child". 

Why is it SO easy for me, as well as thousands of others, to bear the title of "scapegoat" unto God?

When our dog, Bosco died, people would TRY and comfort us by saying, "God needed a good dog up there..." I wanted to punch them in the damn mouth.  REALLY?!  God needed a dog huh?  He couldn't take the poor dogs who are abused and neglected? Nooooooooooooooooo, he had to take Bosco.  I'm a FIRM believer that everything happens for a reason, BUT... I'm STILL trying to figure out why Bosco isn't laying next to my feet right now.  I'm pretty sure some people may think I'm a lunatic for tattooing his paw on my ankle, but I give a shit.  I put him there for a reason, I put him there so he's still with me when I'm taking our family on walks that HE should be on.  I put him there so I don't forget him.  I put him there because he was my 1st dog.  I put him there because I love him. I was pissed off at God for taking him away from us.  See...scapegoat.

When Donnie was diagnosed with cancer at SIXTEEN months old was when my faith was truly tested.  I wanted to walk into a church, fall to my knees and SCREAM at Him.. why? WHY a fucking baby!  WHY!  Give it to me!!!!! NOT HIM!! The week that he was diagnosed, Jessica still had to keep "life" going for her other 2 boys, Joey & Felipe.  She asked me to be Joey's Godmother for his communion.  I mentioned it before and I will say it again, I am shocked that I was not struck down by God himself for the shit that I was thinking that day in church.  I was truly pissed for a long time & who got me out of that funk?  My SIL, as angry as I was crying to her about it over the phone she said, "Ang, God didn't do this to Donnie, he didn't give him cancer, you have to pray to him now that he helps Donnie get better."

Aaaaaaaaaaand now we have my FIL, who has a tumor the size of a golf ball that's not only ON his spine, it's wrapped around an artery.  Aaaaaaaand yet again.... faith.... tested....WTF!!!  I wish wish wish I can refer to my SIL's comment about God not being the one to give cancer but isn't He the creator?  Isn't He the Almighty?  The healer, the blesser, the lover......and blah blah blah blah?!  This time around.... guess who is the one reeling me back in when I start thinking like this? Jessica.  When I go off on my rants to either her or onto FaceBook she sends me this:

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

When you see someone who is struggling, a co-worker who is discouraged, a friend who is not up to par, how do you respond? Our words can be what keeps a person going; our compliments can put a spring back into their step. Now more than ever, we need to automatically let the encouragement flow. We need to tell others how much we love them, how we value them, and tell them that they are talented and creative. Always remember, with your words you carry life-giving water. You carry hope, healing, encouragement and new beginnings, and you can pour it out everywhere you go.

Today, choose to speak encouragement. Choose to speak victory and faith. Instead of telling people what they’re doing wrong, instead of pointing out all their faults, find what they are doing right. Focus on the good. There are already enough critical, judgmental people in the world. Let’s be people who lift up others and restore them. Let’s be the light of Jesus in the world.

It's like if she's not directly in front of me when I'm bitching and complaining, she sends this "slap you in the face/reality check" and I'm back to normal, whatever that is.  She said to me, "Everything happens for a reason Ang, and maybe, the reason Don had cancer was so that I can be strong for you, like you were for me....." UGH--*TEAR*

Right now, I just feel like cancer is the new cold...EVERYONE is getting it.  This is insanity and I want it to stop.